My story of us..

      ok so I have a story to tell and it stared twenty-two years ago.
 I was seventeen and I was working in a diner in Peoria, a little 50's diner. nothing interesting ever happens, but I was working lunch rush that day. I never knew my life would change so much this day.
I was behind the counter and I hear the door open and I look up to see the most incredible man walked in, I was breathless! super tall and dark hair, in a buzz cut, like for the army, and the most amazing eyes! god I melted when we made eye contact. I sure as hell was not about to let him walk out without a chance to forget me! I was going to make sure I left an impression on him, I don't know what happened except I fell so hard for him with just on look, I knew then he would be mine!!
 So without hesitation I walked to his table were he sat with his mom, and I talked to him, sharing a smile and a laugh or two; when I looked closely into to his eyes my heart stopped and skipped a beat. his eyes so deep to who he was as a man, I got lost in them, I didn't want to be found, it felt amazing. Well when his lunch came to an end and he came to the counter to pay, I handed him my number and said "call me" I then flew around from behind the counter and wrapped my arms around him! it felt so right I didn't want to let go!
        He called, we went out to see father of the Bride, we dated and I was so crazy in love with him. he made me want things I never thought about, we got engaged, we spent less than a month in physical presents of each other, the rest was knowing each other  on an emotional and  mental level. we wrote each other and talked on the phone.
We didn't have cell phones and computers, well we were both madly in love with each other, but he got his shipping papers and it said he had to go to Germany, I cried my heart was breaking, the love of my life was leaving me for Germany, and this is were my store changes again; not for the better but the worst thing that could ever happen to two people in love!!  I could have gone with but it would take time for me to have fallowed him, and god I would have fallowed him to the ends of time, I would have done anything for him.
I watched him bored that plane, that fucking plane, that took me with and left an empty girl standing there wanting him back, not to leave me! the plane took off and I looked back at the gate and it was empty like me, he was gone. things were good for awhile and then... I get the dear john letter! I died when I got that letter, I wrote him begging him not to break it off with me, not to make this mistake. he was protecting his feelings cu he was in just as much pain and loneliness as I was. I became so depressed I didn't care what happened to me, if I couldn't be with him I wanted to die. and that's no joking, I did!! I acted out in starving myself, playing chicken in my car, standing on train tracks waiting, nothing stopped the hurt so I turned to cutting myself, at least my heart didn't hurt!! I gave up, I got to 85lbs at 18and had no friends cuz I pushed people away. I felt like I didn't deserve happiness or good things. all because down deep I hung on to this ghost of my past hopping he would come back for me.
now understand he had his demons about what happened between us, he thought I wouldn't be able to wait or I couldn't so he set me free, but neither of us were ever really free. We created our own prisons and tortured ourselves emotionally. What he went through is not my place to say in my story, but he was never with out thoughts of me everyday. We both married others both ended in divorce.
  My was 18 yrs. of mental and physical abuse, I thought I deserved it, I married someone else two years later, how could I do that to him, I felt like I betrayed him, I let him down, a disappointment. Ten year ago he sent me a letter saying he was sorry for hurting me. I cried , I died all over again, cuz I wanted out of that god forsaken marriage that should have never happened! I told the girl he and I both knew that I wanted him back! god I wanted him so bad, I cried, I watched out the window, I slept with the letter under my pillow till my now ex found it and he ripped it up and threw it out in front of me. and to top it off the one person I hoped would have helped us then betrayed and made stories so he thought I was in a happy marriage. that BITCH!!!! she will get hers!!I always carried a torch for him and always will!! so I stayed I had kids I thought this is it for me, but after my kids got older and seen the abuse I had to change something. So I left two years ago.
 I always held everyone to be like him but no one could meet his standards, I look at him like he is the only man in the world, no one else matters to me but him!! he is the best thing that's ever happened to me! I want no one else but him, I have been robbed of 22yrs with him, I should have had his babies, married him, he would never hurt me, hit me or do anything bad to me that has happened at the hands of other.
I should have been his wife his life, and now I am!! I got on facebook and looked him up, I searched every one with his name and I sent him a message, he answered back and I'm not letting him go. I have lost 22 lbs and we are, well me and my kids are moving in with him, I am proudly leaving the city and all its crap and drama and chaos!!! It is my fairytale come true finally !!! I love him just as much today as I did then 22 yrs. ago. I would do anything for him,! we are so happy we complete each other. I looked for him and there is only one of him, and he has had me since he left on that plane.
 as for some scratching your heads, I could never hate him, nor could I blame him, I never had any ill wills to him just love in my heart he is the only one I can say I am in love with. I have him and I'm not going to let anything come between us!

There will be more to this story come May 8 2015..